you know what's silly?

this video:


I died. This was a theme song for my bus' spring break trip and seeing it like this just makes it even better. And those moves. Dang.

can we pretend?

This is the song that has been on repeat for the past few days in my world. I thought I'd share.

yes, I am going to the book store.

The thing they don't tell you about graduating is the immense amount of mind games you play with yourself before the day actually comes.

Now, I've known my fair share of college graduates - a few of my closest (same-age) friends graduated in December or last May because of their planning and serious dedication to getting their degrees. I've talked them through the last few weeks of school, tried to calm them down and reassure them that yes, they will get a job and really, the coral dress with the cute sandals is what they should wear to graduation, and it would be a good idea to get a 9-month lease instead of a 6-month lease and they should take that seemingly pointless coffee date with a superior in a company that isn't even hiring because really, who knows? And I hadn't been there yet so I had no idea the crazy amount of mind games that they had been playing over and over in their heads and the fact that they took the 10 minutes to call me meant that they truly did just need to vent and explode with emotion for the short period of time they had free because, sometimes, it is too much for one mind and body and soul to handle and sharing it will make it better.

And then I usually told them they should go buy a cookie or ice cream or coffee. But that's neither here nor there.

I've been exploding with mind games but haven't exactly known how to share them. My schedule this semester puts me at work over every single lunch hour, making lunch hour calls to my 'real-world' friends - something I depended on last semester - impossible. I have afternoon and night classes, so when those same people are free or different people from school are out and about, I'm still getting my education on. This is very different for me because I normally plan my schedule to look like this:

mornings = classes
afternoons = work
evenings = clubs, homework, friend time

This semester's schedule is so different solely because I needed to get into specific classes to achieve specific credits to be able to do the thing that is making me write long-winded blog posts: graduate.

Anyways, what I've come to realize is that on the weekends I need a little break. And I haven't been able to do so lately. There was the 5K for Multiple Sclerosis Research, Relay for Life, a friends 21st birthday party, another friends surprise birthday party, the Minneapolis-St. Paul International Film Festival, my mother and her friend's visit, volunteering things I'd said I'd help with months ago, video shoots for class, scheduled scheduled scheduled things. By "a little break" I mean a little time to think, alone, not in my room when I'm having a little mental breakdown at 4am, but out somewhere where I feel comfortable and free and not guilty for taking that time for myself.

That place for me is usually a book store.

Sometimes I need an hour to dive into Twyla Tharp's The Creative Habit to feel like my resume isn't looking ridiculous and the fact that the things I've done matter or to settle into Joan Didion's crazy world or to let Lisa Kogan make me laugh and remember it's a silly, silly life or to take cues from Muriel Barbery's young, intelligent character (or the old, boil-ridden one for that matter.) Sometimes I need that. That is how I unwind.

So if I need to go to Barnes and Noble at 8pm at night to unwind, then that is just how it is going to have to be for right now. I have no idea why I'm having to dissect this (probably for my own well-being somehow) but that's just how it is. And no, I can't just buy the books because my college student budget, and the fact that I do not have a secured job after graduation, means I need to be saving. But you can bet on the fact that all of those books will be mine one day. I need to finish more than the first few chapters, after all.

And for the record, I write some pretty good things after a little 4am startling wake-up. I usually end up with an entire movie/music/play/whatever review is due that day completely formed in my mind at 4am. A few friends of mine told me that's a gift. I'm choosing to believe them.

Sweet 16

image here

All of a sudden I'm one of those people who is counting down the days like my life depends on it. I was pretty focused on counting down the days until my graduation, and then last week one of my finals got moved and I realized how few days are left until I actually FINISH classes. And by finish classes, I mean all of the classes of my undergraduate career. Ever. 16 days people and the work is over. (Hardly, but, you know, the homework will be finished.) I just made possibly the last big to-do list of my undergraduate career. Can you sense some nostalgia creeping in? Because it is, and I think it is here to stay for awhile.

"where's my bouncy Janae?"

I've been a sick lady the last few days. I didn't go into work or to classes at all on Wednesday, and part of Tuesday. Then on Thursday I went back and everyone could tell I was still sick, which is where the title to this post comes from.

There are very few days left in the school year but an enormous amount left to finish, so you can just about imagine the guilt I was feeling after spending the entire day Wednesday in bed...and at Target to get medicine, orange juice, soup, you know the essentials.

Anyways I thought I'd share a few random things I like to do when I'm sick. Maybe these are not random at all, but rather something you all do too. I guess I don't know!

1.) I like to eat doughnuts when I'm sick like this. I think it started one day in high school when my dad took me to the doctor (I had to get medicine injected through an IV and then through shots...it was a bad few weeks). Anyways he took me to Walmart afterward and we got doughnuts - just simple glazed doughnuts. They have made me feel better ever since.

2.) I drink as much tea as is possible. In my mind, it is going to help everything. Why I do not do this in everyday life is puzzling.

3.) I watch as many seasons of whatever television show I have in my possession. And by watch, I mean I put it on and fall into a delirious sleep, and then wake up, rewind, and repeat.

4.) I do not even think about brushing my hair.

5.) And apparently, I write multiple delirious semi-coherent emails to professors telling them I can't come in. Then I look back over them a few days later and realize that my writing professors probably were not too impressed with the large amount of grammatical errors. Maybe it helped the plea that I couldn't come in?

Ahhh anyways! What do you do when you are sick? I'm finally starting to feel more me-like...and my boss told me today that the "light in your eye that is usually there is back." Good deal.

Here's a funny little video from Kate Nash's new single for your (hopefully healthy) Friday!

The Kissaway Trail.

Here's a new band for your Tuesday morning. The Kissaway Trail is made up of five guys from Denmark, and their album "Sleep Mountain" comes out in America today. I just started listening to them and truly believe they helped me crank out the rather large paper I had due yesterday at 4pm...that I hadn't started until about 10am. Blame it on senioritis?



26 days until graduation. I have an enormous amount of work to do.

so there.

This is all I've got for you today. This, and to say that the leftover cookies that have been taunting me from the 5K I filmed this weekend are no longer going to get their own special place in my world. No more, cookies. I've now got peanut M&Ms that my sister didn't snag from our excursion to the Metrodome last night to see our brother patiently waiting for me in my purse. Take that.

clever little bag.

Puma is recreating their packaging in a way that will reduce their cardboard use by 65%. Incredible.

Mat Kearney

I took a much needed break last night to go to the Mat Kearney concert! At the U of M we have a little thing called "Lend a Hand, Hear the Band." If you donate at least 10 hours of community service throughout the year, you are eligible to get a free ticket to the concert. Due to the fact that half of this semester has been volunteering for me, I was fortunate enough to get a couple tickets and brought a friend! :)

It was a really good show - local man Will Hutchinson opened up and then Kearney's band definitely had a fabulous, big-band end. It's been much too long since I've seen live music, yet every time I'm at a concert I vow to go to more. I must make more time for this.

The first time I heard Mat Kearney was from a mix a mr. made for me at my first college - so all the way back in 2006. I just realized that the only Mat Kearney songs I have are from other people making me mixes. How cool!

Here are a couple songs you'll probably recognize (breathe in, breathe out was featured on Grey's Anatomy.)


This is one of my favorites:


and this is the first song of his I was given:


Listen to more here or here. Enjoy!

just a quote.

"There’s something about a friendship in which the other person knows the intimate details of your life and the content of your dreams and still believes that you belong in the life that you imagine for yourself, in spite of everything...Those are the best kind of friendships, where each friend dreams on behalf of the other."
- from here.

I read this and immediately thought of a few different people. I'm a lucky, lucky girl to be able to say that I have more than one person rooting for me. (And I am definitely rooting for them!)

Happy Monday to you! I started off my day with a lot of writing, a little poking around the Internet, and a wonderful standing meeting with my friend Tanya. Technically she's my internship adviser, yet in reality we were friends (and roommates) first so we tend to get a little off subject, and that is always just fine with me.

spring cleaning!

I've taken the morning off of doing homework, blasted music (the boys who live below me and always have their music or tv on SUPER loud were trying to beat me, but I think I won) and did a little cleaning. I haven't taken a break just to clean in a while and, well, it's noticeable. I literally wouldn't let people come to my house because I was a little embarrassed of my room. (Which, mom if you are reading this, is usually really clean up here. I've grown since high school.)

In other news, my co-ed intramural softball team started up last Thursday. This is the second year I'm playing intramural softball and it is amazing. If you knew me when I actually played softball, you know I'm not good. The best part about our team is that it doesn't really matter that much. I race out to get the right field spot, freak out whenever a left-handed batter comes up to the plate, and otherwise laugh and hang out with my friends. It's going to be so nice once the weather warms up even more.

And last night we had a bus reunion! We ate, we laughed, we shared stories, they reminded me I'm graduating...it's silly but in my head I have SO many projects to finish that the actual "graduating" part at the end of this semester hasn't been factored into the situation yet. I'm going to work on letting that settle in before it actually happens. But! Until then, it's back to video projects, papers, reviews, internship things, etc...see you soon!

dessa

I've been missing and I will continue to be missing for a little while longer. Sorry! End of the semester projects and interviews and plans and everything are taking over, leaving very little time for anything else. If you have already graduated from college, I'm sure you can relate. These next four weeks are going to be intense. So! How about some pretty music to take that away?

Dessa is fabulous and local, and "The Chaconne" has been on repeat in my world this week.


Here's another jem.


Listen to more here. Have a happy week!

small town.

I'm going back home today! I haven't been back for almost 3 months - much too long if you ask me!

So, are you jealous? I've got something to help with that.



Have a wonderful weekend and Happy Easter!