Have you been feeling neglected?

Because I've been feeling like I've been neglecting this little space of mine. It's not that I haven't been doing anything, it's more along the lines of the fact that I haven't felt like anything I've been doing is very interesting to write about.

As of the end of August, I've been unemployed. I've done a few odd jobs since, but have been facing the hard battle that is the economy for the past few months and let me tell you, it's a beast. It's been a trying time for me because I've never been someone who can't get a job. Usually, I am someone who tries to take on too many things, who has a hard time saying no to any new opportunities. Lately, I've been forced to realize that this is not always the way.

I know that I am not the only recent college graduate (or person, for that matter) who is going through this. And, I am very, very lucky in that I have a wonderful support system - full of family, friends, and past colleagues who send me tips on new jobs and give me recommendations and references. I do know that, and I definitely appreciate it.

But, even with lots of people behind you, rooting for you to succeed, that doesn't always mean it happens right away. I've been applying to jobs all over the country, am willing to move at a moment's notice, just wanting to help people, and so far I haven't gotten anything.

I've had interviews, and I know I'm good at interviews. That may sound super narcissistic but go through a 2-hour-long interview when you are 16 and trying to prove to someone that yes, they should pay for your entire summer studying abroad in Japan, even though only 17 people in the country will get that honor. And then win one of those spots. And then tell me that you can't do interviews, because if anything will get you to learn how to interview and do it well, well, that is it.

I think the real issue is realizing that even though I checked off every goal I had for myself in college, I still am coming up empty handed.

graduate in 4 years? check.
have 3 internships before I graduated? check.
study abroad? check.
get involved in at least 2 clubs? check. 
graduate with 3.5gpa or higher? check

If you are thinking "well, she had 3 internships, why don't they hire her?" I have an answer for you. I took internships for the work experience and knowledge I would gain, not for the potential for employment post-internship. This was probably a bit naive of me, yes, but what's that they say? That it's in hindsight that everything is 20/20? Because that is true.

Yet, I worked in an office in London on an online magazine. I had over 50 stories published with my name as the byline before I even took my first official reporting class in college. I helped a woman start a business. This meant long hours, lots of research, figuring out how to make podcasts, and keeping up relations with a whole host of people I'd never met in real life. I was a marketing intern for a nonprofit that I truly believe in. I got over 80 stories published about this organization in the few months I was interning, and I learned more about how a nonprofit functions on a day to day basis.

I had experiences that will definitely fuel any future endeavors that I may come across.

I just have to find that position that will take a chance on me. That will see that I am qualified and eager to learn new things. And in the mean time I have to keep my spirits up, which, I admit, was much easier to do a few months ago. The brave face is on, but that doesn't mean I'm not struggling with this.

I guess I just want to say that if anyone who reads this is in a similar situation, I feel you. I understand. It's not something a lot of people openly talk about, including myself. It is a struggle. It is hard. But we will get through it.